Free Willy
Occurred: Winter 2005

I was commuting to work every day from ____ Hampton to Manhattan. The Long Island Rail Road picked me up at 5:45 a.m. and I arrived at Penn station two and a half hours later. Ten minutes downtown and I was at work. I had landed a decent software job and had the opportunity to work with a few high ranking politicians (I won’t say any names). After work if I was not staying at my friend Greg’s tiny one bedroom apartment I’d take the train back to ____ Hampton. Two and half hours home, five hours of sleep, wake up and repeat. It sucked to say the least.

I became very comfortable with the surroundings of the train and usually could squeeze in two hours of solid sleep while barreling towards New York City. In the morning I got on the LIRR at one of its earlier stops and the train was always empty. I could pick any seat I wanted and naturally, I went for the four-person seat. This is two, two-person seats located at the end of the cars facing each other. Sitting in the double seat would allow me to stretch my legs and relax until other passengers took the seats. I was wearing khakis, a buttoned up light-blue shirt, a dark blue blazer and white Adidas. I placed my leather briefcase under my legs so no one could steal it and leaned back. I fell blissfully asleep.

I wake up about two hours later. I'm still sleepy and a bit disoriented but I know something is wrong. A few people are staring at me. No one is sitting in any of the three seats next to me. The train is very crowded and every other seat in the entire car is taken. A few passengers are standing. I can’t figure out why no one is sitting next to me, I fear something terrible has happened. As I start to sit up I experience a very familiar feeling. I immediately know what’s wrong. I look down at my lap and see a raging hard-on desperately trying to escape the confinements of my pants. Realizing there was nothing else I could do I take off my sports coat off and put it over my lap. I’m still being stared at by a few wide eyed middle age secretaries. I fall back asleep.