The Hemingway Solution
Occurred: Spring 2001

I was alone in my bedroom and I really wanted to smoke some pot. I don't know why but I was adamant about taking a hit from my five foot bong. I had many pipes and bongs at the time, I just wanted a five footer.

I packed up the bong and attempted to hit it. After a few contortions and awkward angles I realized it was impossible for me to pull from the top of the bong while simultaneously lighting the bowl. I have a long reach but it's no where near four and half feet. I tried placing a lit candle on the ground and turning the five footer slightly but all I got was wax on my bowl piece. I had almost given up and settled on the mediocrity of two foot bong rips when I noticed the grill ignitor laying on my table. You know, the long lighters with a trigger? I knew what had to be done.

Seconds later...I was situated comfortably in my chair inhaling a five foot bong rip as I lit the dankly packed bowl with my big toe. A grand application of The Hemingway Solution indeed.